XCOM: Enemy Unknown - our armour isn't tight enough
by Hoplite39
Summary: The troops are unhappy with their armour. It is just not sexy enough.


**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN XCOM EU. THIS IS FOR FUN.**

**Author note: In Xcom: Enemy Unknown you can customise the names of you soldiers. You can name them after your favourite fictional characters, etc. The gamer can also customise the soldiers looks to a limited extent and give soldiers nicknames.**

**For those who are interested, I will put a list of the characters and their sources at the end of the story.**

The Xcom Commander sat in his office looking through the mission reports. The last few missions had gone well. No casualties. His current batch of soldiers were first class. The best he had ever served with.

But despite the successes, all was not well. He sensed the troops were restless. They were not satisfied. Something was bothering them. But he couldn't put his finger on the reason.

That is why he had arranged a meeting in the briefing room. He had asked Bradford to invite his best and most experienced fighting troops. The moral of the troops was of prime importance. This mission was too important to have restless soldiers go on missions. It could cost lives. It could cost the whole of Earth and humanity.

When the commander entered the briefing room, they were all there waiting. His finest soldiers. His elite. The commander new they were true professionals. They were hardened They didn't expect niceties from their commander. So he got straight to the point.

"OK, everyone. Listen up!" Said the commander. " I know there is something bothering you. So what's the problem?"

No one answered. The soldiers looked at each other nervously.

"Come on! One of you. Spit it out!"

At last of of the soldiers spoke. It was one of the female soldiers.

"Commander. We would like to complain about the armour." Said Max 'Dark Angel' Guevara, a gorgeous exotic looking young woman with lovely long dark permed hair cascading over her shoulders.

"Why? What is wrong with it?" Asked the Commander frowning. "We have supplied you with our best state-of-the-art Titan armour."

"It is just far too bulky." continued the lovely Sydney 'Alias' Bristow, brushing her fine fingers through her silky long hair. "How are we supposed to fight effectively?"

"What do you mean?" Asked the commander.

"We need something more supple." said the beautiful Tasha 'Turkana' Yar with her firm breasts and her striking short dyed blond hair. "We would be far more effective if we were to be supplied with flimsy skin-tight costumes that enhances every curve of our supple firm athletic bodies..."

"..and with every inch of material wedged up every crevasse." Added Kasumi 'Thief' Goto with her perfectly sculptured ass.

"I concur." Agreed Annika '7-of-9' Hansen with her fantastic curvy hour-glass shaped figure. "I just can't aim properly unless I have a thong wedged tightly between my buttocks and my massive breasts are sticking out at 90 degrees."

"And it improves my concentration and helps keep my balance." Agreed Jadzia 'Trill' Dax with her beautiful model-like features and supple feminine figure.

"So true." Agreed Cara 'Mord-Sith Mason with her pretty face and wonderful long straight blond hair. "I can't bring the pain unless I am wearing a tight red figure-hugging one-piece costume."

"Me neither." Said Kira 'Bajoran' Nerys with her adorable cute hamster-like face.

"Me neither." agreed the lovely Willow 'Vamp' Rosenberg with her wonderful flowing red hair and pretty smile.

"Me neither." Said the gorgeous sultry Cataleya 'Columbiana' Restrepo with her slim but firm athletic body." I also prefer wearing tight leather against my smooth dark skin. Although, I prefer black."

"OK." sighed the commander. "So are only the women complaining?"

"No. I can't fight effectively either." Chipped in King 'Sparta' Leonidas. "Unless I am bearing my manly chest and displaying my perfectly sculptured six-pack. Plus there is nothing more stirring in combat than to have my massive packet bulging from a pair of skimpy man-panties."

"I second that" Said Maximus 'Gladiator' Decimus, as the gruff hunk oiled his biceps.

"Ooooh. I couldn't agree more. That would be fabulous!" Screamed enthusiastically Steve "Mass Effect" Cortez, clapping his finely manicured hands excitedly.

The commander sighed with relief and nodded his approval as he looked on his fine soldiers. Now he knew humanity would win for sure. The aliens had no chance.

* * *

**_Character sources (In order of mention)_**

_Max Guevara - Dark Angel (TV)_

_Sydney Bristow - Alias (TV)_

_Tasha Yar - Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV)_

_Kasumi Goto - Mass Effect 2 & 3 (Game)_

_7-of-9 - Star Trek: Voyager (TV)_

_Jadzia Dax - Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (TV)_

_Cara Mason - Legend of the Seeker (TV)_

_Kira Nerys - Star Trek: Deep Space 9 (TV)_

_Vamp Willow - Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)_

_Columbiana - Columbiana (Movie)_

_king Leonidas - 300 (Movie)_

_Maximus Deciumus - Gladiator (Movie)_

_Steve Cortez - Gay character in Mass Effect 3 (Game) _


End file.
